Dear Diary

I'm sorry. I know I have missed the quota last month, and it was entirely my own wrongdoing. It all started with an innocent "I will do it later", then it swiveled out of control and I was soon lazing on the couch, stargazing, wandering in parks and before I knew it, I went for walk in the country where they built wall that stretches thousand of kilometers.

I know, I know, I procrastinate again. You don't have to yell at me. It does't help..

Anyway, I checked with editor-in-chief, and he has given me the approval to make it up the missed quota last month by writing more this month. No penalty or salary cut whatsoever, he's a nice guy, that editor-in-chief. Continue reading...

There you go, 4 posts per month

WARNING: CRAPS ahead!

When I started writing for this blog many months ago, I set myself a clear goal. A goal to have around 100 posts posted by the end of the first year, which would mean an average of 2 posts per week, or 8 posts per month, or 24 posts per quarter. At a time when everyone was talking about Project 365 and Mars landing, this couldn't seem easier.

Well, I'm glad to announce here that there is no longer a need to track and analyze my performance anymore, as it is shown blatantly at the blog archive that - I have failed miserably. Hmm, maybe not.

Weeks into writing boring and unfathomable posts, I decided to tweak my goal. Yes, even writing two posts per week proved to be too much of a hassle for a pathetic procrastinator like me.

"This is bullshit!" My mind yelled at me. "I can't possibly handle two posts per week, it's too much work!"

"OK, OK." I said. "I'm gonna reduce that by half, one post per week, alright?"

This was good news. Now I only need to do 50 percent of what I'm initially expected to do. Great.

July came. July went. And I'm stuck with 3 posts.

So here I am, writing this piece of crap, in order to fulfill the quota of 4 posts per month. Please don't hate me. I have to do this, seriously, so that my contract won't be terminated by, well, myself.

OK, there you go. End of the crap. Hope you are not choking by now ;p

Continue reading...

Overcoming Procrastination

I have a secret.

I procrastinate.

Many of us have a penchant for procrastination. Almost everyone occasionally procrastinates. However, to say that I procrastinate is an understatement. I would put off doing certain tasks for days, even weeks. I told my friend I would write a post about banks creating money out of nothing when I visited her, but I didn't start writing until two weeks later. My habit of procrastinating has spiraled into a disruptive problem in my personal life. I am a chronic procrastinator.

The seed of procrastination was first planted during my college days. I would put off completing assignments until the last possible minute. I would always print out all the lecture notes and tutorials at the start of a semester, and placed them on a shelf. Then, 24 hours before the exams, I dusted off the notes and buried myself in a frenzied revision. By the time all the exams were over, usually two or three days later, I was like a zombie, an animated corpse starved of sleep. Of course, my penchant for procrastination took its toll. Mediocre results, stress, anxiety, guilt and resentment ensued. Yet, I procrastinated, again and again, without fail. Then, I lacked the will to change.

There are many causes to procrastination. Laziness, stress, lack of discipline and poor time management are some of them. Those symptoms attack me from time to time. Yet, I now realize that there is one particular behavior pattern rooted deep within me that is triggering my procratination habit - the strive for perfection.

I always want to deliver the best. Because of that, I am afraid of making mistakes. "If I make mistakes, the outcome will not be perfect." I would convince myself. The fear of making mistakes and eventually succumbing to imperfection gives me a reason to put off a task that would be better accomplished ASAP. I will give myself excuses to avoid the task until I can find a better way to do it. And this usually means indefinite delay until the last possible minute. Now, there isn't enough time for me to complete the task perfectly. Poor results follow. But I can still let myself off the hook by telling myself that I could have done it better if I had more time. I guess in some ways I act instinctively to protect my fragile ego, that I am a imperfect human, that I can't get the best results all the time.

Procrastination is self perpetuating. The act of procrastinating can become automatic and ingrained. That's what I'm experiencing. Procrastination has become part of me.

People told me it is hard to change one's habit or nature. I do not believe that. It is a question of whether one can find the will to change. Breaking a habit is not an easy task, but it certainly can be done.

The simplest way to beat procrastination is to just get started. I have to allow myself to be human and admit that I cannot get everything done perfectly. Start small. As long as I get started, I can always revise the way I do it later. Miraculously, the task always turned out to be less daunting when I started early :)

Life is short. If we procrastinate and dally one hour per day, we would have wasted 15 days after one year. 15 days! We can accomplish so much more if we don't procrastinate. Act with a sense of urgency. Work on yourself. Then, you will find out that the world is an awesome place after all ;)
Continue reading...